What does confidence look like?

You think it all the time ‘Mandy is so confident, I wished I had that much confidence’.

It normal when you are feel low with no or little self esteem. They go hand in hand.

Firstly let’s look at what confidence really means. The dictionary definition states that it means “a state of mind or a manner marked by easy coolness and freedom from uncertainty, diffidence or embarrassment. Confidence stresses faith in oneself and one’s powers without any suggestion of conceit or arrogance”.

So basically the person believes in themselves and what they are doing.

Picture this, you go for an interview and whilst waiting there is another candidate waiting to also be interviewed. How can you tell that they are confident? Without actually speaking to them.

You go by their body language. They will sit up straight and tall, head held high, legs uncrossed, arms resting lightly. Maybe they have a slight smile on their face. Body language can help you feel more confident even when you aren’t inside! Try it! Take note of your own body language. Are you slumped, arms crossed, feeling tense? Relax everything, hold your head up and sit or stand tall! How do you feel? Just by doing a simple shift on how we hold our bodies can help lift our moods and also build our confidence.

Next up, how does a confident person talk? How would they sound? Would they be talking fast or slow? Many people will talk in such a way that we think they are confident.

You may see people talking on stage thinking ‘I would never be able to do that!’ Truth is they had the same thoughts once upon a time.

My one tip to talk more confidently is know what you want to say and say it clearly and loudly. I don’t mean start shouting during normal conversations but try not to mumble (I’m terrible for this!). Give it a go!

How do they act? This is similar to body language but what else might they do? Do you think being confident means being arrogant? Do they make eye contact? Use their hands to talk? Have a think about how you can act to be more confident.

How do they dress? Does the way a person dresses show how confident they are or is it just our perception? Sometimes we can jump to conclusions about how someone dresses. When someone dresses totally different to what we do, some may thing they are weird but how about thinking of them being confident enough to dress how they are comfortable!

Lastly don’t be fooled by someone on social media showing all the good things they have in life. People only tend to show the good on Social Media. Many people use filters to ‘help’ them feel more confident!

Below are 10 ways to build confidence (as published by Forbes 2017)

• Get things done – confidence is built on accomplishment. Achieve those small and big goals, you will feel much better about yourself.
• Monitor your progress – best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Doesn’t matter how big the end goal is, bite sized chunks help and the best way to know if you’re making progress is to monitor it. Stay on course and you will build confidence as you see the progress you’re making in real time.
• Do the right thing – Ask yourself what the best version of yourself that you aspire to be would do, and do it. Many confident people have a value based system they live by, even if not in their interest but they interest of them greater good.
• Exercise – exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. Stay active and create time for yourself.
• Be fearless – Failing isn’t your enemy, it’s fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you’re going to feel overwhelmed, and you’re inevitably going to feel like you can’t do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.
• Stand up for yourself – at the start of anything you will get people who tell you that your dreams and goals are silly, impossible, unachievable. These are their limitations, not yours! Tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you’re going to accomplish it.
• Follow through – take action and do what you say your going to do.
• Think long term – The foundation of unhappiness is decisions made for short-term comfort that impede long-term goals. For example if you want to lose weight you can’t carry on eating junk food, want to pass exams you have to study. In the moment it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly harder, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it.
• Don’t care what other people think – people will always have an opinion. Just remember most people are wrong about most things. People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them it can’t be done. If you think you can do it, you can it.
• Do more of what makes you happy – do what makes your soul sing. What do you like doing in your spare time.

So now what does confidence look like to you?!